Thursday, March 18, 2010

Nerves

Today is the consult with the RE. This appointment will decide if we go forward with treatments or if we take more time before coming back. My husband is all for taking more time because that could theoretically mean me losing more weight. I'm all for going forward because I don't want to do nothing when I know I have to do something to get pregnant.

I kinda feel like if we don't go forward starting today I may just say "then I'm not going to try to get pregnant anymore" and put the whole baby thing to the side. I know it sounds kind of childish but my thought is I'm not getting any younger and the risks of pregnancy increase with age. Also we're really stable right now and the "can't afford it" isn't valid. We can afford it. I think I would be happier with a definitive path either towards getting pregnant or putting ourselves to a childless existence (which means my niece and nephew are getting SPOLIED by me). I hate the 'well maybe in the future' crap cause it might never happen. We either try now or don't do it at all.

I know if we try now that the path could be a long one ending up childless. And I'm ok with that. I also know that we probably won't get pregnant right away if we do try.


I guess I just need a definitive one way or the other.

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